Awkwardness

Today I had several social encounters, and all left me feeling awkward and stupid. I always feel this way when I have conversations with people that steer away from small talk. A female coworker of mine ( I work with all males besides two women) has been discussing my "fake boobies" and tattoos with ALL the men I work with, and one of the men I barely know told me today. So I had lunch with him and we talked about various things. Nothing was said that would make me feel so stupid, but at the end of the day when I left to go home, the overwhelming anxiety/ paranoia that I had said something wrong at some time hit me.... like always.

I wish I had someone to tell me if I really was as stupid and awkward as I feel that I am, or if I am actually an o.k. person. If I could just get a new attitude about myself, maybe I would feel better overall... I have no clue how to fix what is wrong.

Introduction

I am just a simple 25 year old living in small town America. I am a single mother of a three year old little boy. I have a decent career in the oil industry. I am the holder of two Bachelor degrees and I am working on my MBA. I have little to no social life, so I figured maybe I could find some sort of connection with people on here without running into that small town judging situation.

My little boy's name is Wes and his father left us when he was three days old. He has nothing to do with us, and that is just the way I hope to keep it; we are better off alone.

I have recently decided to do some self-reflection to decide what my problem is since I have everything I could want (besides a whole family). I figured this blog could possibly help me in some way.

I do have a boyfriend that I have had for a couple of years or so. I love him more than I have ever loved a man. All I can do is hope that someday he will commit.

I thrive to be successful, and I set high standards for myself.

Get to know me, and feel free to comment on anything. I feel that i am a pretty open person. ;)